Never Gonna Care 'Bout My Bad Reputation
by ALC Punk
Summary: Space Pirates AU. Sam Anders and Kara Thrace are looking for a ship to call home. Chapters may not be completely linear and consecutive.
1. Chapter 1

Because, obviously, this ficlet needs a preface: 

23:34 Me: hrm. I have... words... of space pirates being hired on. so, more mercenaries than pirates?  
23:35 KAr: Mercenary space pirates that are ninjas on the side?  
23:36 Me: ...giggles  
23:36 KA: (looks innocent)  
23:36 Me: Not that I know of... Kara's too loud to be a ninja.2  
3:36 KA: Damn.  
23:36 Me: Sam can swing the silent thing, though.  
23:36 KA: Well, she can pilot the giant robot, then.

(this is not so, sadly)  
(1,000 words of fic, 1,000 words of porn. sigh)  
Warnings: Kara Thrace/Sam Anders, het, porn, plotlessness.

Space pirates! Sorta.

**_Never Gonna Care 'Bout My Bad Reputation_** by ALC Punk!

Sam Anders hadn't planned to be a pirate when he grew up. It just... kind of happened. With the government being so totalitarian, he found it easier to be a smuggler. It seemed stupid and cliched, but it worked for him. And when he met Kara Thrace, it worked even better. She was one hell of a pilot, and he had the contacts they needed.

Finding a ship was pretty damned easy. Finding a ship that wouldn't fall apart or get them stopped wasn't so easy.

In the end, after an argument (and sex), they ended up signing onto a privateer, each listing their skills. Neither mentioned their opinions of the government, of course. But given that the privateer had its own questionable history, and her captain was a man who didn't like to deal with the law, they figured it would be good enough until they could start their own run.

The captain eyed them as they stepped into the cockpit. He gestured at Sam, "Let's see what you can do, kid."

"Sorry. My wife's the pilot." Wife. It still made him a little giddy that she'd said yes, and that they were married.

Kara was smirking. She was facing their new boss, but Sam could tell she was smirking as she said, "And Sammy here's just the muscle."

"Don't call me Sammy." He stepped closer, unable to not set a hand on her waist.

"Oooo." She glanced over her shoulder at him, amused.

"You two can leave the flirting outside the bridge."

"So, no sex in the pilot's chair?" Kara asked, turning back to face him.

"No."

Sam made himself pull his hand away from her waist. It was hard, because she was wearing a leather vest that ended just above it, and her pants came to just below it, giving him access to skin. He was rather embarrassed to admit to himself just how much he loved taking advantage of it. She probably wore them on purpose, and not just because the leather was practical and provided some protection against small arms fire.

The leather he was wearing was just as practical. Even if his wife liked to smack his ass and mock him. That usually resulted in him catching her against the wall and kissing her until she moaned.

Which had nothing whatsoever to do with their boss giving them orders.

Sam tuned back in as the man finished his instructions and Kara settled into her seat.

"Just take 'er out easy."

"Yessir."

Hearing the slightly mocking tone, Sam looked around for something to hang onto. His wife could fly rings around anyone, piss her off, and she'd do so, literally. And while most ships had their own inertial dampeners, none of them could completely curtail the effects Kara's stunts could cause.

Sam held onto the strut supporting the ceiling as Kara put the medium-sized ship through its paces. Their captain wasn't smart enough to grab onto something, though he didn't quiet fall over. That was pretty impressive, given that the movement should have had him on his ass at least twice. And then Kara got bored and put the ship through the very simple maneuvers he'd requested.

It occurred to Sam as she settled them back into the slip and turned to look at the captain, that she might have just cost them their berth.

They'd live, it would just make things difficult.

"Well." Captain Tigh looked at him and then at Kara, "Can you control your wife, Mr. Anders?"

Sam released the metal, flexing his fingers. "No, sir. I just hang on for the ride."

"I see."

Kara turned in the seat and looked at them both. "You want someone who can get your ass out of anything, you hire us. You want to get caught? Kick us off your ship."

"Very aware of your own importance." Tigh noted with a hmphing sound.

Climbing out of the chair, Kara came over to Sam. "Being mice isn't gonna get us anywhere, captain."

The man made a sound of disapproval. "You're hired. Few rules here, no brawling among the crew, any job we take everyone gets a cut, and no talking about your jobs to anyone outside of this ship. That clear?"

"Yes, sir," Sam didn't salute. He nudged Kara when she didn't answer.

"Oh, yeah. Yes, sir."

The captain snorted, "You can take your wife to your cabin, you've got the one two doors down from this cockpit. She'll be spending most of her time here, anyway."

"Sir." Sam caught one of Kara's belt loops and tugged her backwards. "We'll settle in. When do we go on duty?"

"We don't jump off to our next destination for six hours. Get some rest."

--

Their quarters were sparse--a bunk, one cabinet for storing their gear and room under the bed for anything else. Sam eyed the bed, "Kinda small."

"Afraid I'll kick you out of bed, Sam?"

"Yeah."

She snorted and grabbed his ass. "Only if you're snoring."

"You," he informed her, turning and pulling her against him by her belt loops, thumbs sliding against her skin, "snore worse than me."

"Maybe I'm not getting worn out enough," she murmured before going up on her toes and kissing him.

"You claiming I'm not satisfying?"

"If the shoe fits..."

Sam unzipped her pants and then stroked both hands up and under her vest. "Maybe it doesn't," he informed her as he fondled her breasts.

"Maybe..." She moaned in approval when he bent his head and kissed her neck.

Deciding her vest was in the way, Sam unhooked it and shoved it off her shoulders. Which of course meant that he felt the need to kiss her shoulders and got distracted from his original goal.

"Sam." Grabbing his head in both her hands, she tried to direct him with more purpose.

"There's this thing called foreplay, Kara," he informed her.

"Fuck foreplay." Releasing his head, she grabbed the front of his pants and unzipped them.

"Whoa." Sam caught her wrist before she could continue.

Her other hand slid inside his pants, roaming around to grope his ass. "Afraid you'll lose your control, Sam?"

"Maybe." He considered, then nudged her. "Turn around."

Kara blinked, then she grinned and turned slowly, leaning back against his chest. "Like this?"

"Yeah." Staring down at her exposed breasts and skin, Sam felt his mouth go dry. Really, it was unfair that she was this damned hot. It made his brain turn to mush. Bringing his hands to her waist, he rubbed the hollows above her hips, then stroked upwards to cup her breasts again. Closing his eyes, he dropped his mouth back to her shoulders.

She tasted like sweat and leather and Kara, and if he could bottle it, he could make a fortune.

Her breath hitched when he brushed his thumbs over her nipples.

So he did it again, just to hear that sound.

"Taking too long," Kara informed him, her voice breathless. She pressed her ass back against him, then wriggled and pulled away from him.

Deprived of naked and warm Kara skin against his hands, Sam opened his eyes.

Kara was kneeling on the bed, looking over her shoulder at him, "You're wearing too many clothes, Sam. And I'd suggest taking your boots off."

Pulling his shirt off, Sam made fairly quick work of kicking his boots to the side before wriggling out of his leather pants and joining her on the bed. She moved more to the center, still with her back to him.

Bouncing, she looked back at him, "Bed needs to be broken in."

Leaning forward, he kissed the base of her neck. "Yeah?" He licked the tattoo.

"Yeah." Kara dropped forward onto her hands and shifted to get comfortable.

Sam ran his hands up her legs and then started kissing his way up her spine as he moved into position. He slipped a hand between her legs and brushed a finger over her clit before slipping it into her cunt. She clenched around it and growled. "Sam."

Kissing her neck, Sam grinned. "Yes, Kara?"

"Ass." Reaching back with one hand, she wriggled and grabbed him and tugged, dislodging his hand.

"Gah." Deciding having sex with his wife was more important than teasing her, Sam followed her urging and thrust into her.

"Smart." She informed him.

"Yeah, well, someone has to have a brain in this relationship."

She laughed, then moaned at his next thrust. "Think it's you?"

"Sure." Moving his free hand up, he fondled her breasts.

Another laugh escaped her, breaking into another breathy moan as she arched and pushed back against him.

Feeling her clench around him, Sam moved his hand to her belly, fingertips skimming her skin and feeling the muscles ripple beneath. Really, if there was anyone he would put his money on in a fight, it would be his wife.

His finger brushed over her clitoris and she gasped. Doing it again, he kissed her neck again, tasting salt.

"Sam." She whimpered, before she moved against him, back arching as she came.

Holding her up, still moving, he felt the aftershocks go through her and moaned himself when she tightened around him.

"C'mon, Sam," she gasped, hands braced as she changed their rhythm, pressing back against him harder.

His brain and body surrounded by Kara, Sam gritted his teeth and tried to hang onto himself. A little control, after all, was warranted. Especially if he thought he could get another orgasm out of her.

Matching her thrusts and movements, he moved his hand back between her legs. Feeling himself sliding in and out of her almost snapped his control, but he moved his fingers up. Circling her clitoris with his fingertip, he grinned when she cursed at him.

"Sam--" the whine turned into a moan when he nipped her shoulder.

Two, three, and he could feel her tightening again, feel her control snapping as she arched and slid against him.

Sam followed her, this time, unable to hang onto his control as much as he'd like.

She sagged to the mattress, panting. "Bastard."

Getting the leverage, he shifted and fell sideways, bringing her with him. The wall and bed thunked against each other, but he ignored it and tucked her shoulder under his chin. "I am?"

"Yeah." She stretched her legs out and he slid one between them.

Her hand caught his and pulled his arm over her waist. "We're gonna get cold," he pointed out with a yawn.

"Yeah." With a sigh, she scrambled out of the bed and hunted around on the floor for something. Leaning over the bed, she swiped at him and then made a half-hearted attempt to clean between her own legs. "Shower sex, next time."

Sam yawned and patted the sheet, which was mostly clean, "Next time, yeah."

A snort escaped her and she climbed back in and pulled the blankets tup and over them before settling against his chest. Sam looped his arm over her waist and buried his face in her neck.

She made a grumbly noise and hooked her foot around his ankle, so he slid his leg back between hers.

Maybe this space mercenary thing was going to work out.

-f-


	2. Some Things You Just Don't Need

disclaimer: not mine.  
Pairing: Kara Thrace/Sam Anders Genre: Pirate AU, smut Rating: 18+ Notes: Ahahah. Yeah, so, the pirate AU is, like, dead easy to write for. I think it's the leather. 

**_Some Things, You Just Don't Need._**  
by ALC Punk!

Sam was surprised when he was the one who got them in trouble with their new captain first. Or, rather, he got them in trouble with the captain's wife. And not for the reason he would've thought.

No, no, instead of him being attracted to the woman and causing trouble because she thought he was flirting, she flirted with him. She wasn't ugly, but she wasn't Sam's type. There was something about her that set his teeth on edge, not to mention the part where she might have been old enough to be his mother. And the huge part where he was married to a woman who would rip his balls off if he even contemplated having sex with another woman.

At least until Kara got bored with him, anyway.

And then Ellen Tigh, the illustrious and (apparently) promiscuous wife of their captain did something he wasn't expecting.

Sam just stared at her, then got out of her reach, made some lousy excuse and fled to hide in their cabin. He ignored the laughter from the other two crew members. Sometimes, retreat was the best thing for everyone involved.

Recovering from his encounter with her in their cabin, Sam seriously wondered if this was worth it.

The door banged.

Sam didn't squeak. Squeaking only occurred when he was scared. He did, however, move to the side and call cautiously, "Hello?"

"Open the frakkin' door, idiot." Kara.

He opened the door, grabbed her arm and dragged her in before slamming it closed and locking it again.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Mrs. Tigh."

Kara's eyebrows went up. "What about Mrs. Tigh?"

"She..." Sam stared at her, "Have you met her yet?"

"No. But if she's anything like her old man... Hell, she'd have to be to marry a frakhead like him." Rolling her eyes, Kara smirked at him.

"Kara..."

"What?" Apparently getting bored with looking at him, she moved past him and smacked his ass.

Sam jumped and whirled, grabbing her. "She's scary."

"Riiight. You, Samuel T. Anders, space pirate and part-time ninja, are scared of a little old captain's lady?"

"You haven't met her," he muttered, getting distracted by the part where Kara was all clad in skin-tight leather and pressed up against him. Really, in the middle of a firefight or something equally dangerous, he was pretty sure he'd be able to concentrate. But with just the two of them in the room? Yeah. So lost.

"Uh-huh." Kara poked a finger into his chest. "You're scared of women."

"Only some," he protested. He shuddered, "And I have good reason to, Kara. She grabbed my ass and then suggested I should, should..." he trailed off.

Kara snickered, "She propositioned you and you ran like a chicken? Oh, Sam." She smacked his shoulder, "I've got to figure out how to toughen you up."

"You think you can toughen me up?" Sam raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, yeah." Winding her arms around his neck, Kara smirked. "Maybe a little endurance training. Some work on your stamina..."

"I," he informed her, bending slightly and locking his arms around her hips. He lifted her into the air, "have lots of stamina."

Kara's legs wrapped around his waist and she cursed when her knee bumped the wall. "Oh?"

Supporting her easily, Sam walked the two steps to the bed then just stood there. "Yup."

"Gonna stand like this all night, Sam?"

He slipped his hand up the back of her vest. "Maybe."

"Boring." Kara informed him before pulling her arms away and letting herself drop backwards.

The movement almost pulled him off-balance, but Sam leaned back. "Trying to hit your head on the floor, Kara? What happens to the few brains you have left?"

"Oooh." With effort, Kara pulled herself back up. She latched a hand onto his shoulder and placed the other on his chest. "You're so smart, Sam." She shifted up and her hand slipped between them, fingers stroking him through his pants.

He grunted and tightened his grip on her, "You want me to drop you?"

"You do and I'll kick your ass." She warned him.

"Better than Ellen Tigh grabbing it," he muttered before turning around and sitting on the bed with a thump.

Kara bounced in his lap and smirked. "No stamina, Sam."

"Nah. I got stamina." He yanked her vest up and tickled her.

She yelped and slapped at his hands, grabbing them.

Wrapping his fingers around hers, he leaned in and kissed her. Kara tried to back away from him and lost her balance again.

His hold on her hands kept her from hitting her head on the floor--just barely.

But she was laughing when he pulled her back up and against his chest. "So, you don't like being groped by strange women? I'll have to remember that."

"Depends on the woman."

She laughed at him, "So, I'm special, huh?"

"Oh, yeah." Suddenly serious, he cupped her cheek and kissed her.

"Mmmph," she mumbled against his mouth.

Sam used his other hand to work at her vest. Really, if he could just get it open, things would be a lot better. He wasn't trying to prove that he had stamina. Nope. Not at all.

"Mmph." Kara said again before breaking the kiss. "Sam. I'm still on duty."

He stopped. "Oh."

A chuckle escaped her, "You sound so disappointed."

Snaking his hand inside the half-opened vest, he tweaked a nipple, smirking when she gasped. "I am."

"We don't have time for this," she warned him. But she didn't stop him when he unhooked the last hook and got both his hands on her breasts. Actually, she arched with a sound of approval and pressed closer to him.

"You sure?" He asked before kissing her lips again.

"Damnit." With a growl, Kara scrambled off of his lap.

"We're still in dry-dock." Sam pointed out logically, shifting and deciding if he was going to be uncomfortable, he'd get something out of it, he unzipped his pants.

"You'll miss me."

"Maybe." Getting the pants down past his hips and then to his knees, Sam smirked at her. "You're the one who's leaving, though."

Kara glared at him, then snorted. "I should leave you two alone, then? Give you both some privacy?"

"Only if you want to go back to work unsatisfied."

"Maybe flying is enough," she suggested.

Cupping himself, Sam shook his head, "If you believed that, you wouldn't be here still, now would you?"

"Idiot."

"Moron."

Kara kicked his leg, then gave in and hastily shed her own pants. "You'd better have that stamina you promised."

He didn't get to answer as she pounced him, knocking him backwards and straddling his lap. Letting his hands roam her skin, he moaned when she slipped down onto him. It occured to him as she flexed and then began moving, that Kara Thrace with her face and skin flushed with arousal was one of the hottest things he'd ever seen. Followed closely by Kara with her head back as she rode him.

It didn't take her very long to orgasm. Not that he was surprised, given the energetic movements she was making. Kara knew how to get herself off; sometimes, he wondered if she really needed him. Then he'd surprise those soft little moans from her, and he'd know she'd miss him. Probably.

When she recovered, she smirked down at him then bent down and kissed him. "So, I'm special, huh?" She whispered, trailing kisses down his neck.

Running his hands down her back, he pushed upwards, "Yeah."

"Good." Kara rocked her hips in response, startling a growl from him. She grinned and then did it again before licking his chest. A moment later, she clamped her lips over a nipple, sucking.

Suddenly not caring about the whole proving he had stamina thing, Sam reminded himself as she did that thing with her hips again and his eyes rolled back in his head that his wife was hot, evil, and damned hot. And having her drive him insane was allowable, as long as she didn't leave him hanging. Which she wasn't.

"You are so easy," she informed him.

"Yeah?" He wrapped his arms around her.

"Yuh-huh."

Someone banged on the hatch, startling them both out of the post-orgasmic bliss. "Thrace! Get your ass back on duty! And tell that layabout husband of yours to keep his damned hands off my wife!"

Kara snickered, then called, "Right, sir!"

"I didn't touch her!"

"Apparently," Kara said as she climbed out of bed and went into their tiny bathroom, "That's not the story she tells."

"Great." Sam thunked his head against the mattress, then got distracted by the naked woman getting dressed.

"Don't even think about it," she warned him as she pulled up her pants.

He rolled onto his side and propped his head on his arm. "Think about what?"

"Sam."

A sigh escaped him and he rolled out of bed. "I should get back to the engine room, anyway."

"Oooh. Grease-monkey. Cute." She smacked his ass and dodged his retaliatory grab.

"Get back to work, pilot-girl."

"Yeah, yeah. Slave-driver."

Sam snorted as she left the room. He was much happier than he'd been. He was even fairly certain he could deal with Ellen Tigh again. As long as his wife was there.

-f


End file.
